What it Costs to Carry (Part 2)

Why Disruption Precedes Clarity

(Luke 1:29–31)

Divine calling rarely begins with understanding. It begins with disturbance. Scripture is explicit about this, though we often gloss over it. When the angel appears to Mary, the text does not say she felt honored, inspired, or empowered. It says she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what kind of greeting this might be (Luke 1:29). Clarity does not come first. Disruption does.

This is not accidental. God does not lead with explanation because explanation invites negotiation. If clarity came first, the mind would attempt to manage the assignment, assess feasibility, and calculate cost before the heart ever had to surrender. Instead, God interrupts. He introduces holy disruption that destabilizes normal categories of safety, identity, and future expectation. Only after the disruption does He speak purpose: “You will conceive and give birth to a son…” (Luke 1:31). The order matters.

Disruption is the sign that something living has entered the system. In the natural, conception immediately alters the body before the woman can name what has happened. Hormones shift. Sensitivities change. Fatigue appears without warning. The body knows before the mind can articulate it. In the same way, spiritual conception produces disorientation. Old rhythms no longer fit. Familiar goals lose their pull. There is a growing sense that life is now oriented around something unnamed but undeniable.

This is why those newly carrying a calling often feel unsettled, emotional, or internally unsteady—and then shame themselves for it. They assume clarity should bring peace. Scripture teaches the opposite: peace comes later. Disruption comes first because the assignment must dislodge old structures before it can build new ones. God disturbs what cannot coexist with what He is forming.

Luke’s account shows us that even reassurance does not erase the disturbance. The angel tells Mary not to be afraid, yet her fear is not removed by information; it is steadied by surrender. Clarity comes only after consent. “May it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). Understanding follows obedience, not the other way around.

For the carrier, this means disorientation is not a sign of disobedience. It is often the first evidence of genuine conception. Confusion does not mean you missed God. It may mean you encountered Him. The work ahead is not to demand immediate clarity, but to allow disruption to do its holy work—clearing space, loosening grip, and preparing the interior life to host something far larger than the self that existed before.